The full moon

Tasha went into her room, Seleen was staying out all night. She locked the door so no one could just walk in. She undressed, she hated ruining clothes. Then she found something to keep her busy. Painting, painting worked nicely.

She painted for a little while, but she was a little too crabby to keep it up long. Besides, the only thing she could think about to paint was a white rose. It was lovely, but it was not something she wanted to see at the moment. So she turned the easel to face the wall. The paint would dry and then she would deceid if she was going to keep it or give it away.

She grabbed up her robe and went to her door. She opened it and looked towards Venis' room. She thought about going to see her, her door was still open and so that meant that she was in there at her desk. She changed her mind and went to go lay on her bed, not wanting to tear up her robe, she removed it. When she layed down she wasn't facing the door, so she didn't see that it caught on something and was still slightly ajar.

Leaning in the door was Gawain. "Ya know, i missed ya, kitty. Full moon is pure hell for us.....I wish people understood just what we go through. Fine work we did down in that basement, I think."

Gawain paused, obviously torn between just catchimg up and delivering the message he was given by Gareth.....

She heard his voice, she was still a little crabby about the full moon comming so soon after getting back into a singular form. "Hey Gawain, I missed you too, come on in and join me. This month it's just a little worse, under the circumstances. And thanks, for helping with Venis that is. I know you love her too, she is one of your best friends. But you might never know how much it means to her for you to be here."

She sat up and rolled over and offered a smile, dispite her mood. She reached for her robe and slid her arms into it closing it around her. She loved Gawain like a big brother and was always happy to see him. She waited for him to come in and was going to steel a hug, she needed it.

He walked in slowly, arms outstretched, and smiling a mite sadly. "Light, it's been too long since we talked, and we have needed to for awhile now." For a moment, he just kind of held on to her, the familiarity of her scent soothing him. "You feel like talking, kitty? It's time we talked about Gareth. It's time you knew the truth, and may the Light forgive me for being the one to have to tell you." He looked her in the eye, his own eyes glistening with the tears he knew he could not shed, and nodded. "Yes, it is time."

She hugged him as tightly as she could. She needed a good hug right now, and Gawian's hugs were great. She knew the talk was coming. And she was ready for it. Come what may, she needed the closure of knowing that her beloved was gone.

She sighed. "Yes, time to talk. Actually, the best time, given no one will be bothering us tonight." She sat back down on the bed and patted the bed beside her. Another sigh with a slow blink. She was ready, as ready as she ever would be.

"Before I start, I need your word, Tasha, that you will not hate me. Just let me finish, and you'll understand. Is that alright?" He waited a moment, looking straight into her eyes, and when she nodded, biting her lip as she did so, he began.

"Gareth, as you already know, was an Asha'man in training, like I was at the time. Something happened after you left, something awful, and, Tasha, you know the male half of the Source was still tainted with madness.........he drew too much, told me to look out a window, then knocked me out and ended an entire damn war single-handedly. I begged him, Tasha,
begged him to stop, to not use the Power again, but he was too much like me."

He stopped, standing suddenly and wiping at his eyes angrily. "Some fool of a meatsack got herself attacked, and Gareth, as noble as he was, got there first. He wasn't like us, he was just a human. So, he used the only weapon he had that gave him an advantage. Driving off that pack of fools was the last thing he did before the madness took him. He came for me, telling me I took you away, why did I take you away, and attacked. I held him in bonds of Air and tried to Heal him. He was beyond Healing, beyond anything short of Godly intervention. My Healing helped him recover just enough to tell me what to do. Light help me, what choice did I have? He was prepared for anything, even if our roles were reversed, he had planned out how to stop either of us from causing any harm. He was one of the best of us, part of me, my brother more assuredly than that vithing hellspawn that was my brother by birth! He had it planned as if he knew one of us would go mad, even down to writing a note. I-I have it, still, for you. I kept it, kept it close to me. No one has ever read it, I don't even know what it says. But, he......he knew. He loved you, and he knew that if he lived, he would kill you, me, Venis, anyone who he loved. He made me swear, Tasha. I d-didn't want to..he made me mix the stuff and give it to him. I begged him not to, that I would find a way to help him, but he smiled, took the cup, and channelled one last time. He held me in bonds of Air while he drank the cup, and let me go only after he had drained the last drop. I held him, just like this......" He had stooped while talking, tears streaming freely down his cheeks now, and he sat on the floor. "His head was in my lap, and we talked until he went to sleep. It.....didn't take long. He was smiling, peacefully, and I held him there until the sun rose on the next day. I could take you there, to where I buried him, and part of me....I go there every year around the time it happened to leave flowers. Yeah, I know, me, flowers, get real." He shook his head, looking straight at her as he reached into his coat. "Here it is. The letter, I mean." He held an old envelope out, creased and slightly yellowed with age.

Tasha sat there listening. Her tears began to flow and she made no effort to hide them or stop them, or even wipe them for that matter. Here she was listening to one of her best friends in the entire known universe tell her about the death of her beloved. Someone she loved like a brother, and her beloveds death came by his hand.

Anger, oh yes, there was definitely anger boiling up inside of her. But she would give Gawain the respect that he had earned and hear him out. When he reached out to hand her the letter she slid from the bed to the floor in front of him. She took the letter and opened it.

Sitting there upon the floor she read the letter. She was definitely angry and sad both, and that kind of turmoil was not going to bode well, for either of them. When she finished the letter she folded it back up and placed it back into the envelope. She held it over her heart, pressed tightly to her chest as she closed her eyes and lowered her head.

It was a long time before she spoke, choosing to measure her words carefully. "And this is the same bonds you used on Venis?" More rhetorical than anything. She looked up then. She didn't know what was happening until she heard the sound. *slap* She slapped Gawain right across the face. And then she erupted.

"How in the hell could you ever even think of using that power again? What in the vithing hell would we have done is it had been you the other day. And why in the hell would you mix the crap to begin with. He couldn't have been that damned strong. Damn it Gawain, how could you?"

She balled up her fists and began pounding on his chest. "How could you, he could have been healed. Damn it, Venis could have saved him, damn it, damn it, damn it." She continued pounding on his chest until she had no strength left. She collapsed against him in a ball of tears. With a couple more soft hits she just cried and curled up in his arms, burying her face in his chest.

Gawain held her gently, his face swelling a bit, but knowing he had that and more coming. In a whisper, he went on. "I've told you of our leader, The Dragon Reborn....he found a way, with all of our help, and even the help of the Sisters, Aes Sedai, to cleanse the taint. There's no danger anymore, sweetheart. It's clean now. I wish I could have done more, but with you and Venis gone, Gareth knew there was no other way. Light, I wish it were me instead! What have I ever done but cause the people I love pain? Even now, my own daughter is almost like a stranger, I don't know what my son looks like, I don't even know where my wife is. I just....I don't know, Tasha. I'm sorry. Truly, truly sorry." With that, he stopped speaking, and buried his face in her hair. He knew Gareth had told him not to mourn him, but he could not help it. All the unshed tears now found their way out, and he contented himself with knowing that she knew, and they could begin healing. Together.

She nodded, accepting his words for truth. She would have rathered it been neither of them. And now she had reason to hate Vlad even more. But for now, all she could find strength to do was cry. With one small exception. One sentence escaped her now hoarse throat. "Had it been you, Venis would have ended the world." And that made her tears fall harder, because she knew that she could never avenge Gareth in such a way.

He nodded, still holding her tightly, almost as if clinging to her for dear life. "I know, sweetheart, I know. Gareth knew it too, that's why he did what he did. I'd never seen such love before that. Light knows I have done my share of loving, but only once have I loved that fiercely before."

Spoiler:

She didn't move. She never wanted to move again. "Don't let your fireball hear you say that." She chuckled slightly through the tears. She knew the status of that relationship. She just snuggled in tighter, she knew the night was not over and she was fighting it with everything she had.

She was calming down. Gawain had that effect on her. Her tears had even slowed. But she still wasn't going to move until the moon made her. Something tickled the bottom of her foot, and it wasn't her robe. Her foot twitched and she accidentally kneed Gawain in the ribs while saying. "Hey, quit it." But she could feel both his hands on her so what was it. Air, bands of air. "Tell me that you did not just use that air on me."

Gawain grunted, because she might look like a little slip of a girl, but this kitty had claws! After a moment, he shook his head, eyes shining. "I'm not holding the Power right now. Whatever it is, it ain't me. However, in a moment, I will be, and well, you know....."

She sighed and nodded. Curious as always, she wondered what could have tickled her foot. But for now, there were more pressing matters at hand. "Yes, I know, the moon beckons." The moon was the master, and it had been calling to her beast, she couldn't fight it much longer. She leaned up and pressed her lips softly to his cheek. "If you want to go, I'll understand." She hugged him tightly.

With the slightest of movements she slid her legs from within his lap, turning at the waist. Releasing his body from her grasp she slid from his arms turning into a squatting position. She stood up straight, finishing the turn to face him, and offered him a hand up. The whole thing was quite feline in it's smoothness.

"Shh.....looking for the Air, kitty. Be still, quiet, and....yeah." He was snapped instantly into hunter mode, and as he sniffed the air deeply, he looked positively confused, then uncomfortable, and then....."BWWWAAAAACHOOOOO!" What the...pepper? Where....oh. Laughing, he looked around, calming himself and even shouting out "Ves bwael, tagnik'zur t'zarreth. L' pepper zhahus natha yugho xta'rl, a l' i'dol." After a few moments, he turned to Tasha, and smiled. "False alarm, looks like your brother was having some fun with us." He chuckled once again, thinking about how nice it was to be among friends and family again, and his mood changed. "I....think I should be going, Tasha. I've somewhere I need to be, and for once, the moon isn't the cause. It's me. I'll be in the garden somewhere off the beaten path if anyone should need me. Know what I mean?" He smiled sadly, patting her on the shoulder, then simply hugging her tightly for a quick minute. He knew that she knew what he meant, so he felt a little safer leaving the actual inn for awhile.

She smiled. "Gawain, you know I only have two sisters, no brother, well other than you that is. Bless you though." When his mood changed hers did too. Then he said he was leaving. She couldn't help but loose her smile. She returned his hug and it replaced her smile once again for a moment. Her feline curiosity had her thinking she might sneak out to the gardens, after all, Leviathan had been out there all day and she was kinda missing her anyways. "Alright, if you must go." Damn, disappointment in her voice. "I'll talk to you later sweety." And she let him go.